sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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