My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..