How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Sex with a fat chick.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
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He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
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Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail