At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina