she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon