Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I am full of burrito and curiosity
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
