Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
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