It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
