Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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