so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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