Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.

(773): View more from Illinois

You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal

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(312): Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight. (773): You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal http://tfl.nu/9vmu

Replies (9) Good night (1790) Bad night (806)
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(616): View more from Michigan

yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.

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(616): yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage. http://tfl.nu/rey5

Replies (16) Good night (520) Bad night (2584)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"

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(704): You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs" http://tfl.nu/7byd

Replies (5) Good night (1251) Bad night (4357)
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(256): View more from Alabama

Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.

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(256): Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference. http://tfl.nu/q39i

Replies (33) Good night (3895) Bad night (1359)
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(734): View more from Michigan

So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.

(810): View more from Michigan

You're 20.

(734): View more from Michigan

IT'S BUILD A BEAR!

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(734): So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear. (810): You're 20. (734): IT'S BUILD A BEAR! http://tfl.nu/k2jt

Replies (149) Good night (11595) Bad night (2281)
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(817): View more from Texas

HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.

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(817): HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis. http://tfl.nu/iuvq

Replies (28) Good night (6067) Bad night (1009)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.

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(770): Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob. http://tfl.nu/4q4p

Replies (9) Good night (1897) Bad night (1105)
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(636): View more from Missouri

Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?

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(636): Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown? http://tfl.nu/ay3b

Replies (4) Good night (1548) Bad night (572)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.

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(724): The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants. http://tfl.nu/3mi5

Replies (4) Good night (2045) Bad night (685)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.

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(307): You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home. http://tfl.nu/j8m0

Replies (10) Good night (492) Bad night (1826)
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(312): View more from Illinois

He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.

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(312): He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning. http://tfl.nu/pfuk

Replies (6) Good night (1548) Bad night (410)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.

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(919): You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again. http://tfl.nu/rhb2

Replies (8) Good night (1712) Bad night (393)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.

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(318): PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard. http://tfl.nu/g9pr

Replies (1) Good night (672) Bad night (286)
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(714): View more from California

Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.

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(714): Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying. http://tfl.nu/nfjo

Replies (4) Good night (680) Bad night (385)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore

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(+44): Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore http://tfl.nu/dh34

Replies (0) Good night (446) Bad night (251)

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