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• (602): View more from Arizona

  my dad is going to jail this weekend

  (1-602): View more from Arizona

  where are we going to get our weed from?

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.

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• 

  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)

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• (941): View more from Florida

  We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.

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• 

  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"

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• (209): View more from California

  ... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.

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• (772): View more from Florida

  So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.

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