my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.