Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.