I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?