I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.