we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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