Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
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4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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