absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize