The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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