There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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