i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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