she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
