Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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