the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
