oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
