she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
