Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.