DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
