Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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