like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
