I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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