They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
