6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday