walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
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