I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
