In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize