Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
