we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
