so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
