i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
