If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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