Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
