so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
