talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
