Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
