You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize