When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
