My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
