scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
