my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
