Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
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I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
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I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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