oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
