do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize