First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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