the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
