Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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