Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
