I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
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I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
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Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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