i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
