Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
