My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
