I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
