Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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