Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
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I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You dont lie about slip and slides
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
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i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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