My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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