My hand turned me down
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
